To begin with, what is a soulmate? This is a topic that has always grabbed my curiosity, as well as inspired and interested me as a hardcore romantic. So far, based on my life’s worth of reading, personal experiences, and watching and listening to loved ones and acquaintances, I feel a soulmate is defined by a few characteristics.
A soulmate is a person with whom you can be completely honest.(What is a Soulmate)
You feel at ease when you’re with them. Relaxed. A sensation of belonging. Along with a sense of cosiness and comfort. Knowing that this individual has either already seen (or will see) both your light and your dark, you can rest assured that they will adore you and think highly of you.
A soulmate is a person with whom you have a deep emotional bond.
The nature of this is difficult, if not impossible, to explain into words. You just get a sense of it. There’s a voice inside of you that doesn’t speak, but just knows.
Someone with whom you share a resonating click is referred to as a soulmate. Someone with whom you feel equally at ease in quiet as well as with whom you can talk about everything.
This isn’t to mean that you and your partner will always agree. Quite the opposite is true. Soulmates are individuals who provide us with the most genuine of mirrors with which to reflect on ourselves. A soulmate is someone who pushes you in the most important ways. Providing insight into your greatest issues, personal blockages, and challenges so that you might potentially overcome and overcome them.
A soulmate is someone who motivates you to go above and beyond.
Who makes you want to be your best self by stirring something within of you? This is the one who instils in you the desire and ambition to jump high and far. They are the one who will deeply inspire and move you.
A quick aside: contrary to common belief, soulmates don’t always have to be romantic. You can have a platonic relationship that feels like a soulmate. As a result, a soul mate can be romantic, but they aren’t always. It’s more about the nature of the two people’s feelings and connection. A soul mate isn’t found through sex or romantic interest. It’s the bond/understanding/closeness/sense of openness and honesty that exists between you two.
A life partner is a friend, a steady human on whom you can trust, enjoy spending time with, love, and build a life with. This is how the vast majority of romantic partnerships are classified.
Finally, in terms of what makes a soul mate, this form of relationship is a combination of both chemistry felt between two people right away, a resonating click and reaction of sorts, as well as a depth of connection between these two individuals that grows and deepens through time.
And why is it that most love relationships lack the fury and depth of a soulmate relationship?
Because the vast majority of people choose or remain in life partner relationships as their primary love connection (s). This is perfectly OK. It’s quite pleasurable. It’s simple, comfortable, and frequently rather enjoyable.
However, there are various reasons why most people do not find their soul partners. The following are a few of those causes.
Many people have a subconscious dread of being alone, so we stick with the people with whom we are in a relationship because we care about them, have a history with them, and the relationship is generally positive.
However, fear…comfort…shared history…laziness…whatever the case may be, we frequently extend relationships that should have already terminated, all coming back to the general line of thinking that “it’s easier to stay.”
Each of these arguments emanates from a place of dread. Fear that holds us back when it’s time to move on to something that requires a higher degree of understanding is a more resonant, better match, and will provide us with far greater long-term joy. Most individuals stay in relationships that may no longer have the best fit or potential because finding it entails risk, letting go, and travelling into the unknown.
It’s critical to ask yourself these (often unpleasant) questions if you want to locate and build that soul mate-like romantic connection:
-Is this the person with whom I’m still supposed to live my life and grow? (Because the answer to this question is subject to change.)
-Do we genuinely complement and challenge each other in a variety of healthy, unique, and notable ways?
-Or did I get too attached/attached/jump into a relationship with someone who is most likely not suited for me in more than one important area?
-Am I making excuses for sticking because I’m afraid, depressed, or lazy? Even though my heart feels something isn’t right and/or the end is near?
-Could this individual be impeding or stunting my progress, or taking away from my life’s full potential and long-term joy? Rather than being a truly amazing, fulfilling, and useful addition?
Real, unbiased, fearless, honest analysis and inner remark are required. As a loved one and an outsider looking in, we know various people who claim their spouse is wonderful for them, possibly bemoaning their love for this person, observing that their partner is a great match, all while we know and can perceive this to be false.
Furthermore, there are many people out there who are either unwilling or emotionally incapable of the inner stretching and challenging that a soul mate relationship includes and necessitates. Those who lack the desire or ability to engage in such inner growth or exploration. This isn’t meant to be a criticism or a snub. It’s a factual observation.
(As a side aside, here is a fantastic 15-minute TED talk that is well worth your time.) She provides some eye-opening, intelligent, and amazing advice on how to choose the appropriate spouse).
So, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, both in terms of what defines a soulmate and why so many people don’t wind up in relationships with soulmate potential, let’s get into some specifics. What are the characteristics of a soul mate connection, for example? How can you form this kind of tie or connection with someone with whom you already have a strong chemistry? Because, of course, blazing chemistry isn’t enough to build a soulmate.
To name a few approaches/mindsets that will significantly aid in the creation of a soulmate connection with your love:
- Your personal convictions. Your beliefs and your actual experience are inextricably linked. Also, when it comes to keeping your relationship vibrant and alive, flexibility in your beliefs is critical.
- Learning to appreciate your own physique. Our perfection-obsessed culture drives us to dissect our bodies into individual components, identifying and rejecting the “flaws” and “imperfection” in those sections. The habit of assessing our bodies for what doesn’t measure up is well ingrained by the time we’re young adults. Our bodies, on the other hand, are nothing short of miraculous and breathtakingly gorgeous.
Learning to love your body as a whole, rather than ripping it apart and believing it’s never good enough, is a recipe for preventing you from having the deepest possible connection and emotional experience with someone. Those who are extremely insecure and preoccupied with their bodies and appearances have little emotional space left to focus intently and work on a meaningful emotional connection with someone.
(Note: this is not to mean that one should give up and choose to be unhealthy, putting in no effort to maintain a good diet, weight, or lifestyle.) What this means is that you should be concerned about your health and take care of yourself while still accepting and appreciating your body).
- Looking for a better chance. People with a high degree of soul mate potential will endeavour to remain open to different ideas, options, and approaches when confronted with difficult situations. They’ve learnt that there is always another option, even if it isn’t clear at first.
Our culture is obsessed with black and white. We also enjoy putting labels on objects. It’s because it’s less difficult. It’s not as frightening. It’ll be less stressful. It’s less emotionally taxing. We don’t like to do things that aren’t expected of us. Fear of being judged and the difficulties of doing so People who have a high chance of becoming soul mates, on the other hand, are willing to go to great lengths to do so. They are willing to take risks, to abandon labelling, to abandon black-and-white thinking, to explore the margins, and to take risks.
- Behaving as if your lover is a visitor. We often end up taking our partners for granted, especially in long-term relationships. Assuming they’re simply “there.” That we now “possess” them.
We forget that anything might happen at any time. Treating your lover as a visitor might help your relationship retain a sense of gratitude and poignancy. To put it another way, treat them like the kind of guest you enjoy having around—someone who adds to your life rather than detracts from it.
When you have a guest like them, you feel privileged that they would come into your life and spend some time with you. You know your time with them is short, so you make the most of it by taking advantage of every opportunity to share all of life’s pleasures with them.
- Putting your connection into context. We frequently enter into a relationship without completely understanding why. Yes, we’ve met someone we like, we enjoy spending time together, and we’re both happy with ourselves. But what happens after that?
Many people say they want a relationship for closeness or companionship when they are questioned. Others may be concerned with starting a family. However, being in a relationship is frequently about seeking to achieve contentment through our companion. That we expect them to meet many of our unmet wants simply because we are in a relationship.
It’s critical to explore why you’re in a relationship or looking for one if you truly desire a soulmate connection. Instead of focusing on what you want from a relationship, the key to finding soulmates is to focus on what you can provide and have to give.
- Everything can be a gift when there is no expectation. The more beliefs you have about who your spouse “should be” and is, as well as what they should do, the less likely you are to perceive them for who they genuinely are, and the less likely you are to be surprised.
We frequently develop preconceived notions about how our partners should act and who they will become.
However, in soul mate relationships, there will be a sense of constant exploration and prompting of growth in one another. So, if you pigeonhole your spouse based on a slew of preconceptions, you’re missing out on a huge opportunity for them to surprise you. When there is no anticipation,
These six mindsets and criteria for soulmate partnerships were inspired by and can be found in Joe Dunn and Mali Apple’s book “The Soulmate Experience.” I was pleasantly surprised to discover that this is one of the best relationship books I’ve ever read.
Apart from the six mindsets for creating soulmate-like relationships, the remainder of this post was written entirely by me.
There are also some other equally significant features of soulmate partnerships, such as:
-Dealing with enmity.
-Understanding how to transform envy into desire.
-Developing the ability to be completely open with one another and express anything. Even though it’s difficult, learning not to be afraid of honesty.
-Playing leapfrog with each other (doesn’t it sound like fun? Do you have any idea what this is? Look through the book).
-And, together, exploring the “edges” of your relationship, which necessitates a great deal of bravery, trust, and boldness.
I’m not suggesting that adapting and exploring these attitudes and ideas is simple. They’re not. In fact, it’s likely to be one of your life’s most difficult problems. Taking on these mindsets, concepts, and emotional obstacles. Within myself, I am constantly working on and toward them. I’m experienced with some areas of the soulmate-like relationship. Others are still a struggle for me since they are difficult and frightening.
However, if you want a soul mate connection, you must overcome these obstacles and adopt these mindsets. But what about the richness, joy, and awe-inspiring experience that comes with cultivating such a meaningful connection with another human being? It was well worth it. It’s possible, dare I say, that it’ll be one of the